I want hate to fill up my entire body 

and ignite my soul 

I want it all over the table 

Spilling onto the floor. 

 

I want to slam that door. 

I want to find a way out this misery and doubt. 

I think I found love, 

Bitter, painful, heavy-looking, downtown love. 

I dropped it all on you. 

It burned you all over 

And I let it burn 

Until there was nothing left 

But death and I alone. 

 

A part of me is gone. 

I looked everywhere and I found a hole in the sky. 

The base. 

The walls. 

The chairs. 

The fall. 

It was all or nothing. 

And it was all too painful. 

Now every time I look around 

I find a hole in the ground. 

And my body and my mind want to jump right in 

A peaceful place to be. 

The birds will come and sing for me 

The many songs I wrote 

With words so full of hope. 

 

Now ropes around my throat. 

 

I want to be strong. 

Fill my heart with utter strength. 

I want to be wrong 

And do it all again. 

 

I want the fall. 

I want the pain. 

I take the blame.

 

Logan J Parker

31 August 2020