I want hate to fill up my entire body
and ignite my soul
I want it all over the table
Spilling onto the floor.
I want to slam that door.
I want to find a way out this misery and doubt.
I think I found love,
Bitter, painful, heavy-looking, downtown love.
I dropped it all on you.
It burned you all over
And I let it burn
Until there was nothing left
But death and I alone.
A part of me is gone.
I looked everywhere and I found a hole in the sky.
The base.
The walls.
The chairs.
The fall.
It was all or nothing.
And it was all too painful.
Now every time I look around
I find a hole in the ground.
And my body and my mind want to jump right in
A peaceful place to be.
The birds will come and sing for me
The many songs I wrote
With words so full of hope.
Now ropes around my throat.
I want to be strong.
Fill my heart with utter strength.
I want to be wrong
And do it all again.
I want the fall.
I want the pain.
I take the blame.
Logan J Parker
31 August 2020